Envy is a mean little monster

Often, I would feel a tinge (well… tinges… if there is such a word!) of envy when I look at the fabulous lives some of my friends lead.

The jetsetter would be calling me from Pangkor and the next day would be whizzing off to Paris and would call me from Province having French wine!

Bitch…

I don’t have that kind of life, as a matter of fact, I don’t think that I will ever be leading that kind of life. I am destined for an average Malaysian non jetsetting non drama life. I am this person who is in management, works odd hours and choose sleep over partying any given saturday and sundays. To make an oversea trip would be to save every cent of my low wages for it.

For fuck’s sake, I don’t even have an average relationship to start with. ( I am not sure if I am supposed to be glad or… disturbed by that little fact.)

And then, every so often when I have the tinge, I would feel a pang of guilt… for the envy I feel.

I am one sad case… I deduce.

It’s an FB thing

These are the things that is happening in my FB arena, recently.

A guy dropped me and a friend off his ‘friends’ list. The thing is, I don’t even care.

He was an ass, an idiotic ass, who thought the whole world revolve around his pathetic insignificant full of ‘problems’ life.

Let’s face it, his life is a speck, all of our lives are just floating specks in the universe. It is just magnified if other people wants to see it.

Hell… there can only be one Michael Jackson whose life is so interesting that his family is being paid money for post death processes and royalties.

So Knucka, we don’t care one fuck about you, ass.

And then, came the friends request. Sometimes people are so brainless that they thought that people would just add them  in to their list of friends, this despite the fact that we don’t know the fuck they are in the first place. Why should I add in a stranger to my ‘friends’ list?

Then, came the ex schoolmates, the one period of my life that I would like to forget. High school was so massively horrendous that I would erase it off my life, if I could. The people in it and the events that happened, it’s just so stupid. What makes you think that I would like to rekindle that in the first place. Takde masa bai!

I added in one or two that I am in contact with, for the heck of it. Some of them grew fat, like FAT. They have tows of little people and a husband and all that. Basically, a life I can’t really imagine having for myself. If I ever get married, I would like to retain my ‘hotness’ and my sizzling life. My husband and me would still be going to the gym to take care of our gorgeous lives.

And I won’t be wearing those horrendous things that these people wear. Sorry, but I am just not that type knucka. And my kids won’t (hopefully) have dried snots on their noses.

I sound arrogant, yes, but seriously, these photos turned me off from getting married. If I am going to look that fat, I would rather not have any little people.

One of my exes had the cheeks to try to add me into his list. He was a racist pig, and being with him was that one thing in life that I had to constantly wonder about.

Maybe I was lonely, maybe I was trying to get over another person who I love so dearly, maybe this and maybe that.

Bottomline is, I was whack, and that guy was whack.

And I don’t care, I don’t give a flying fuck!

Of course, I ‘ignore’ the request. To have him in my ‘Friends’ list would be another act that I would regret.

We are hot, then why?

I was talking to a good friend over lunch at Marche earlier yesterday, the topic kind of went of from bitching to, well… reminiscing.

We were wondering aloud how come hot people like us (well, we consider ourselves hotter than the average Kiahs and Muthus around) don’t get to meet amazing people with.

“To fuck with?”

I asked.

He rolled his eyes and said that sex is not everything.

I can connect with him being that he is gay and he is on the other side of the unknown. I love talking to him because he understands our girl issues.

Well… a week ago, I decided to have white wine alone in KLCC. I considered that as my date with my laptop using public WIFI. I was given the cock stare by an auntie in hot pants and thick make up sitting opposite my table.

I ignored her and concentrated on my screen, and then he came.

He, this beautiful, gorgeous creamy Hershey skinned God came and sat next to the auntie.

It’s at that moment, that precise moment, I felt like crying.

I wanted to be the auntie.

So why is it that I was told that I am hot, but only managed to get attention from screw ups?

Well… I could have cried if it’s not for the fact that I was kind of tipsy… and hot, literally. I am not a smoker so I didn’t have any idea why I decided to sit outside that night.

I should have sat inside, at least I will be surrounded by elderly people sipping their Pimm’s cup.

Oh well, bloody hell, I think things are better the way it is right now and we better just stop wondering and go on with our lives then.

Right now, my love affair is with myself, me and I.

And the fact that my arms are looking fabulous thanks to all those intensive weight training in the gym.